Star Wars = Allegorical Tale of Coming to Terms with Homosexuality

In anticipation of Attack of the Clones, I've spent several days watching and rewatching the original trilogy. After about my 90th viewing I realized Star Wars fans have entirely missed Star War's secret sub text! It is clearly an allegorical tale of a young man coming to terms with his homosexuality. Luke Skywalker subconsciously realizes he's gay yet he cannot come to terms with his sexual orientation. When one examines the symbolism George "What are you hiding with that beard!" Lucas lays out before us, it is clear. Consider:

  • Luke lives on a desert world. The dry planet is symbolic of an unaroused woman. Try as he might, Luke cannot bring himself to devoting a life time to arousing her. The locals (the straights) spend all their time working their phallic-shaped vaporators in hopes of drawing out the moisture. Luke is not at all interested in this activity.

A moisture vaporator in use


  • Luke surrounds himself with phallic symbols: lightsabers, X- wings (take a look at the front of an X-wing, it's clearly the head of a penis), R2 Units, and blasters.



  • Luke is enamored with a swarthy, dark-haired, older man with a mustache and a phallic name like Biggs. Biggs, of course, is a sailor.

I mean come on the guy is wearing a cravat!


  • Luke accepts his lightsaber (e.g. takes a penis) from an older sexual mentor (Ben, another sailor).
  • If you rearrange the letters in Luke Skywalker you get "Luke, we Skylark". Skylark was gay Vegas showman character Chris Elliot used to do on David Letterman.
  • The head of a gaffi stick is clearly symbolic of an emerging clitoris. Luke gets beaten severely by a couple gaffi sticks. Sandpeople (notice how Lucas doesn't call them "Sandmen" but "people", playing the pronoun game to hide their sex) are not really men at all. They're mad women, beating the emotional crap out of Luke because he can not satisfy their needs!

Tuskan Raider or blow up doll? You decide!


  • Remember what Ben says about the Sand People: "The Sandpeople are easily startled but they will soon be back and in greater numbers." This is just like women at bars! They are easily frightened and they travel in large numbers to the washroom.
  • Luke befriends a 3rd sailor he picks up in bar named Han Solo (hand solo?).
  • Han, of course, has Chewbacca, his life partner. Clearly the bandolier that Chewie wears is bondage symbolism.
  • Stormtroopers are symbolic of sperm. The sperm have clearly penetrated the Death Star, which is symbolic of the woman's egg. Luke destroys the egg.
  • Luke, captured by the egg, requires Ben (a sailor) to release him from the egg's grip.
  • The trash compactor walls are symbolic of vaginal walls. They're closing in on Luke. While Han works the walls, Luke calls on his gay friends C3PO and R2 to get him out of this sticky situation.
  • The Force is a reference to the force one requires to achieve anal penetration. "Let go, Luke" is clearly a reference to relaxing the muscles to allow anal penetration.
  • In Ben's bachelor pad on Tatooine, Ben makes a pass at Luke. BEN: Learn about the Force, Luke. LUKE: Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. Translation: Ben wants to bugger Luke but Luke isn't ready for a top. He can only offer Ben oral.
  • No pilot looks forward to launching his torpedoes against the exhaust port or the "chute". Luke can't wait to send his torpedo up the chute. If you doubt the chute is the anus then recall that the exhaust port is "right below the main port" (i.e., the vagina).
  • Luke gets his jollies abusing space gerbils known as womp rats.
  • Luke fights against wedge-shaped Star Destroyers. The c*** word used for a woman's sex organs is related to the term "cuneate" which is defined as "Wedge-shaped: Used especially to describe a leaf or petal base that is narrowly triangular." Clearly, Star Destroyers are examples of more vaginal symbolism Luke attempts to rebel against.
  • Need I remind you, during the final act, Luke sends his companion Wedge away.
  • Wedge is curiously effeminate wouldn't you say?
  • Luke's sole female attraction is Leia. Unable to consummate a relationship with her because he's gay, Luke spins a fantasy that she's his sister, thereby absolving himself of the need to confront his sexuality.
  • Vader is Luke's unrealized sexuality personified. Again, Vader's helmet is clearly styled after the head of a penis.

Uh huh


  • Luke is constantly told Vader (that is, homosexuality) is evil, yet in the back of his mind Luke can't help but realize there is some good in homosexuality.
  • Luke's vision in the tree (another phallic symbol), where his head is cut off, is a symbolic castration.
  • After Luke's first encounter with homosexuality (Vader), he discovers homosexuality "runs in the family". It is his destiny. His right hand (his masturbation hand) is lopped off. His "safe" method of sexual release has been cut off. He now must make a choice. Luke, at this point, cannot accept his homosexuality and plunges headlong into the airshaft (the airshaft is vaginal symbolism). Yet, he's rejected. Spat out.
  • After he's spat out of the vagina, he falls into the waiting arms of another swarthy sailor (Lando).
  • After Luke's first "encounter", he is drawn to repeat the experience. His final confrontation and acceptance of his homosexuality naturally takes place at the point of a phallic symbol (the Emperor's tower).
  • The inside of the Emperor's tower looks a lot like a bath house.

Remember how the Emperor strokes the lightsaber
and says to Luke "you want this"?




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