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For Christians Only Romance Ads




The Pennysaver had a section called "For Singles Only". So named, I guess, to keep out male/female couples looking for a bi woman. I think I wrote them all except two. (It seems I spent a lot of time then pouring over singles ads... sigh how little has changed.) I've always been mystified by personal ads that seem rather high minded, speak of a desire to find mutual love and respect but then invariably end in a rather weird "no fatties need apply" directive. Our editorial cartoonist Kristan came up with the one about the woman looking for a lion to tame. The one about the marriage of convenience was Terry's handiwork.


Here's the passages from the Bible mentioned in the final ad:


1 Samuel 17:4

And there went out a champion out of the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span

Revelation 18: 9

And the kings of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived deliciously with her, shall bewail her, and lament for her, when they shall see the smoke of her burning,

Genesis 18:20

And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous;

Genesis 3:7

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.


So, translation "Christian male, 38, 9' tall (1 cubit = 18"), seeks hottie for anal sex and nudism."


I can't believe I wrote that! Gasp!


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(a subdivision of The Karl Mamer and Terry Brown Foundation for Creative Penury)


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