Football team tries hard vs. Blues

Windsor never fielded a very good football team. Dave Briggs, The Lance's sports editor, I believe did most of this article. It's one of the funnier articles in the paper. Briggs, because he was the sports editor and therefore the least like us, rarely got any credit for his wit or even a chance to practice his wit.

Modern Chess

Chess jokes. And funny ones at that.

To the victors went the spoils

I like this one too because it's an entire article using sports clichés. It's weird, but the sports page is the most solid page in this parody issue.

Track team delivers to Wild fans

I still laugh today when I read the pizza joint's customer promise "We deliver in 80 minutes or please call again." I think The Legendary Kevin Johnson penned this one. The on-campus pizza joint was notorious for its slow and surly service. Anyone that knows anything about Windsor knows it’s famous for its pizzas. Why would anyone patronize a crappy pizza joint when there were two or three quality pizza places a couple blocks away? Well, simply put, the campus pizza restaurant was the only pizza place that accepted resident food plan dollars. This then explains the surly service. If you don't like the service, spend real money on a real pizza. Oh, what, sorry, you only have food plan dollars? Please hold…

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