(voice backed
with a lot of Monster Truck reverb) In association with Dr Jack Kevorkian and the Michigan
Euthanasia Rights League, Aaron Spelling productions brings to you America's
Golden Gladiators. Yeah!
See old people
die on the battlefield with the dignity and honor they deserve. Root for your
favorite superannuated warriors like Rheumatic Rambo, Mad Dog Methuselah,
Dorian Greystoke, Ethel the Terminator, Grandpa Goliath, and Genghis Bone
Crusher Shoemaker!
Yes, the
population is aging but by god we'll treat our elders with respect, or at the
very least make sure they're dispatched to Valhalla in a manner befitting their Viking
forefathers. Yes! With a sword in their hand, a pike in their rib cage, and
an ax in the forehead. It beats a tumble down the stairs doesn't it?
Yes, America's Golden Gladiators! New this season!